Project Marla

Wanna up your profile at the office? Wanna get on everyone’s radar? Wanna make sure everyone knows your name, takes an interest in your life, and has something to talk to you about? Well if you do, I’ve got just the thing for you…consider hurting yourself in a very dramatic way at work around a lot of your coworkers!

It works like a charm, especially if you play your cards right. For example, to up the drama, and therefore increase people’s emotional investment in your injury, make sure do it in such a way that you make as many of your coworkers as possible part of the injury (e.g., have a part of your body make a terribly loud and awful noise that haunts people for days; have some coworkers fill out forms for you, others get you ice, others call your boyfriend, others get you your purse so you can get some Advil, and others to lend you a wheel chair from their program…people like to help out in a time of need, so make sure you let them!). Also try to ensure that your injury is serious enough that you need miss a high profile offsite meeting so that your supervisor needs to receive an urgent Blackberry message informing her that you need to seek medical attention, as this also increases the drama and ensures that even more people are emotionally tied to your injury (no one likes to worry!). Also make sure that your injury is serious enough that people are reminded that you hurt yourself every time they see you for weeks (e.g., use crutches and/or limp for as long as possible). You might also want to consider introducing a villain into the mix so that people can band together with you in hating some kind of evil that no one has any control over (e.g., let everyone know that you need to wait and see whether or not you are approved for worker’s comp before you can see a doctor—that really makes people angry!). Most importantly though, return to work after your injury with a really positive attitude…it makes people think you’re brave, tough, a fighter, etc., and that’s the kind of person people really want to support! Oh, and if you’re a really good planner, make it all happen right before your busiest work week of the year so that everyone can see that you’re so committed to your job that not even pain and swelling will keep you from getting your stuff done.

All joking aside, hurting my knee at work (of all things) appears to have been a really good career move for me. I know it sounds silly, but all these people that I didn’t really have a strong connection to before are now super invested in me and my recovery. People that I didn’t think even knew my name now stop me every time I’m at City Hall and ask for the latest update. Most people can’t resist adding a line to their e-mails to wish me well, ask for an update, and/or let me know that I’m walking faster and better each time they see me. I mean, the GM of my department finally knows who I am now and goes out of her way to say hi to me…even the mayor stopped me at the Youth Awards to ask what happened and to find out how I was doing! It’s magic! And the whole needing crutches thing has really helped the seniors at my centre see me in a different light…I’m not the invincible, intimidating young person anymore…now they can relate to me and talk to me about aches, pains, and injuries. I, and my knee rehabilitation, have become everyone’s pet project—Project Marla, if you will—and I’m kind of enjoying it. I’ll use my pain and suffering to bring people together, if I must.