Probey McProbeProbe
As previously mentioned, Chaz and I went on a day trip to an onsen with a couple of his very fabulous students, Moto-M and Michy-H. Michy-H decided to bring along his too-cute-to-live 4-year-old son, Candy Boy, and I was glad he did, because Candy Boy and I had a blast together—once he overcame his fear of me, that is. When Candy Boy was afraid of me he was the opposite of fun; he sat in Michy-H’s lap with his back to me and his face pressed up against the car door…so not fun. I could tell Michy-H felt bad about the whole thing, as he kept trying to turn Candy Boy a little bit at a time and loosen his death grip on the car door and explaining that Candy Boy is really shy, he’s never seen gaijin before, etc. I tried to make Michy-H feel better by letting him know that this was a pretty normal reaction, as far as I was concerned. I find that many Japanese children are afraid of me, and many a young child has clung to a parent for dear life at the sight of me. At first I felt bad when this happened, but now it makes me laugh (is that mean?).
Anyway, so after about half an hour in the car, Michy-H was finally able to get Candy Boy to face forward. I tried to be as non-threatening as possible (which, by the way, is somewhat challenging when you’re behemoth-like) by smiling and being as fun as you can be when you’re sitting in the back seat of a car with a child you’ve never met who speaks a language you don’t understand and you don’t have any toys or candy with which to win him over. Luckily I broke him down almost instantly and within seconds he went from not even being able to look at me to being super comfortable around me and playful with me. In fact, some might argue he got a little too comfortable/playful around me, but I’ll let you judge for yourself.
The games we played in the car were pretty simple. I would grab him and make a roaring noise, poke him in the arm and pretend it wasn’t me who poked him, let him give me hi-fives, etc. and it made me happy that this never seemed to get old for him…he always seemed to be having a blast. When we got out of the car, however, things changed a little bit.
I was in the store at the first rest stop we stopped at, minding my own business, of course, when suddenly I felt something poking my bum (and not my butt cheek, either…whatever it was was clearly trying to, err, probe me, if you will…thank goodness my jeans wouldn’t allow any probing to be had…let’s hear it for jeans!). I was startled and jumped forward in the way you do to avoid being probed. I turned around to find Candy Boy standing there with his index finger out in bum-probing position. I didn’t think too much of it (I mean, I do have a pretty irresistible bottom!) and I kind of shuffled him in front of me where I could keep my eye on him and that was that. Or so I thought. At the next stop there I was again, minding my own business, when Candy Boy attempted another probe. I shooed him away and tired not to think too much of it or judge, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starting to question Michy-H’s parenting practices just a little bit. I tried to keep my guard up to prevent anymore probing from taking place, but it was hard to remember to fear such a sweet and adorable 4-year-old (and, to his credit, he was pretty stealth-like in his approach), and every time I let my guard down he got me! By the end of the trip I had gotten to the point where I would try casually position myself so that I was standing with my back towards a wall…I wanted to ask Chaz for back-up, but there wasn’t really a time when Michy-H wasn’t around, so I suffered in silence, always trying to avoid Candy Boy’s probing little fingers.
The next day I asked Chaz if Candy Boy had done anything unusual to him during the trip, and he said no and asked me why I asked. I described the repeated probing incidents and Chaz started laughing. It turns out this is a game that Japanese children (and some adults, apparently!) play. When someone unsuspectingly turns their back, bends over, or lets their guard down for even a second they get fingers jabbed up their butts. Suddenly it all made sense! No wonder Candy Boy had such good aim (he never once missed the mark!) and was so stealth-like and sneaky…he had probably spent years perfecting his poke!! I have to admit that I was very relieved to learn it was a game and I felt a little bad for having questioned Michy-H’s parenting practices since he is clearly a very fantastic and wonderful parent (sorry, man!). Needless to say Chaz and I had a good laugh over this one…good, old Japan!!!
The moral of the story: Never, ever turn your back on Japanese children or butt probing will ensue.
Anyway, so after about half an hour in the car, Michy-H was finally able to get Candy Boy to face forward. I tried to be as non-threatening as possible (which, by the way, is somewhat challenging when you’re behemoth-like) by smiling and being as fun as you can be when you’re sitting in the back seat of a car with a child you’ve never met who speaks a language you don’t understand and you don’t have any toys or candy with which to win him over. Luckily I broke him down almost instantly and within seconds he went from not even being able to look at me to being super comfortable around me and playful with me. In fact, some might argue he got a little too comfortable/playful around me, but I’ll let you judge for yourself.
The games we played in the car were pretty simple. I would grab him and make a roaring noise, poke him in the arm and pretend it wasn’t me who poked him, let him give me hi-fives, etc. and it made me happy that this never seemed to get old for him…he always seemed to be having a blast. When we got out of the car, however, things changed a little bit.
I was in the store at the first rest stop we stopped at, minding my own business, of course, when suddenly I felt something poking my bum (and not my butt cheek, either…whatever it was was clearly trying to, err, probe me, if you will…thank goodness my jeans wouldn’t allow any probing to be had…let’s hear it for jeans!). I was startled and jumped forward in the way you do to avoid being probed. I turned around to find Candy Boy standing there with his index finger out in bum-probing position. I didn’t think too much of it (I mean, I do have a pretty irresistible bottom!) and I kind of shuffled him in front of me where I could keep my eye on him and that was that. Or so I thought. At the next stop there I was again, minding my own business, when Candy Boy attempted another probe. I shooed him away and tired not to think too much of it or judge, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starting to question Michy-H’s parenting practices just a little bit. I tried to keep my guard up to prevent anymore probing from taking place, but it was hard to remember to fear such a sweet and adorable 4-year-old (and, to his credit, he was pretty stealth-like in his approach), and every time I let my guard down he got me! By the end of the trip I had gotten to the point where I would try casually position myself so that I was standing with my back towards a wall…I wanted to ask Chaz for back-up, but there wasn’t really a time when Michy-H wasn’t around, so I suffered in silence, always trying to avoid Candy Boy’s probing little fingers.
The next day I asked Chaz if Candy Boy had done anything unusual to him during the trip, and he said no and asked me why I asked. I described the repeated probing incidents and Chaz started laughing. It turns out this is a game that Japanese children (and some adults, apparently!) play. When someone unsuspectingly turns their back, bends over, or lets their guard down for even a second they get fingers jabbed up their butts. Suddenly it all made sense! No wonder Candy Boy had such good aim (he never once missed the mark!) and was so stealth-like and sneaky…he had probably spent years perfecting his poke!! I have to admit that I was very relieved to learn it was a game and I felt a little bad for having questioned Michy-H’s parenting practices since he is clearly a very fantastic and wonderful parent (sorry, man!). Needless to say Chaz and I had a good laugh over this one…good, old Japan!!!
The moral of the story: Never, ever turn your back on Japanese children or butt probing will ensue.
posted by bag marla at 12:19 a.m.
4 Comments:
LOL... If only Candy Boy could have asked you in a British accent, "fancy a poke?"
Good times with the bum poking. I remember seeing some of that myself and haveing Chaz explain it to me. I think we need more fun games like that.
Forget sexual harassment! Bum poking for all!
this is one of the reasons I am glad I dont' teach kids classes
so THAT'S what was going on. i was so confused, but now it all makes sense! thanks for filling me in!
actually, i blame jeff for the pints of heinie, but i take full responsibility for making you eat pepper! hmm...i think pints of heinie and pepper eating are in order sometime in January...
You know, this is a common practice in Korea as well. I have had many an bum-poking myself from eager little Korean children. They like to exclaim "dong-ko" as they poke you too, which means "poo hole". Korean children are so astute...
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